Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Faithfulness

My brother says that faithfulness consists of more than just fidelity. Discuss.

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6 comments:

Chris said...

Or not if you don't feel like it. Thats cool.

9:36 PM
Angela O. said...

ok - me being a little dim here - but what do you mean by fidelity? I actually wasn't sure of the definition of that word so I looked it up and it is 1 a : the quality or state of being faithful. If by fidelity you mean messing around on your spouse (which was my thought on what fidelity meant) then absolutely I agree with your brother. You aren't being faithful to your spouse if you are emotionally not there because of an internet relationship, a "crush" on someone else that's never pursued, etc. Just because you are not physical with someone does not mean that you aren't cheating.
Now, if you were talking about something else and I completely missed the mark - please delete my comment so I don't appear really dim. :-)

7:01 AM
Karen said...

Angela O, you nailed it! I was just thinking the same thing before I read your comment.

7:13 AM
Chris said...

I did not realize the words were basically identical in definitions, so it turns out to be a dumb question, but you are on the right track. I have a relative who is in a loveless marriage. They do not cheat on each other technically, but they do not like each other at all, nor are they even attempting to make it better.

It seems to me that truly faithful mean never giving up. I am not judging those who have given up on previous relationships. really I totally understand. What I am saying is that there is no value in empty fidelity. Either make it work or move on.

11:42 AM
Angela O. said...

Thanks, Karen.

Chris, you say they are in a loveless marriage - if you asked us a few years ago I'm not sure Trey and I could say were we in love with each other that much. When it comes down to it - I was really mad at him for something that was not his fault at all but my irrational anger at the situation made me take it out on him. I was MEAN - NOT NICE at all. But (thankfully) we stuck through it and now I think we love each other more than ever. I think all marriages go through ups and downs. If there are kids involved then I agree with Dr. Laura - you stick it out until the kids are 18 unless there is adultry, abuse or addiction.

So maybe for your relative - as you state "truly faithful mean never giving up" Maybe that's what they are doing. Even if they are staying together and living separate lives it is a step to coming back together. Hopefully they take the next step and just start being nice. SOMETHING drew them together to the point of making a MARITAL COMMITMENT in the beginning - it might come back. I think people give up too easily now . . . (side note - there is a big difference between marital commitment and a boyfriend/girlfriend commitment. There are many times when I think the boyfriend/girlfriend commitment should be broken and the two should move on.)

7:45 AM
Amy said...

YAY for Angela O.!!! That will totally preach.
Thank you for being willing to share a bit of testimony. It is always great to hear about when it works. we hear too often about when it doesn't.

12:25 PM

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